Friday, 29 April 2011

The Royal Wedding PR Angles

Have you heard of this Royal Wedding thing that took place today? I sincerely hope you did, and cheered according to expectations.

When those dissidents from a, shall we say, “leftists” persuasion dared to question any aspect of this event, they were greeted with cries of “Geez, Louise, can’t you just calm down and enjoy it?”. So, it’s not just directed at feminists, then. Goes to show how the accusation of “killjoy” is directed at anyone who dares to question anything. Good to know.

But it wasn’t me killing the joy, nor any other dissident, of any persuasion. You know what I really, really hated about this wedding? It wasn’t the royals themselves. Pompous, privileged and utterly clueless, just as they have always been. It wasn’t even “monarchy” itself that had me grinding my teeth. No.

It was those bloody journalists with no minds of their own, gleefully towing the “PR angle” line. Why think for yourself when you can just repeat the accepted “speech template”?

This is what journalists kept going on about, just to hammer down the point in case somebody has escaped the mind programming.

* Princess!!! You too can be a princess!!! It’s a FAIRY TALE COME TRUE!!! DISNEY!!! Every little girl wants to be a princess!!! Every woman wants to marry a prince!!! *squeal!!!*

Now, THAT is seriously pathetic. It is not “journalism” by any stretch of the definition. It is not even “commentary”. It’s propaganda, of the pettiest, lowest kind. Watching grown up men and women presenting an event like this as a “fairy tale!!!”, exclamation marks and glittery dust included, is terribly disheartening. It’s infantilising, it’s meaningless, and it has very loud rings of another “fairy tale” that took place nearly 30 years ago and ended quite tragically. Are these people NOT PAYING ATTENTION??? Bet they all have worthy Oxbridge degrees to their names.

* She’s incredibly normal! He’s incredibly normal! She’s middle class!!! And a businesswoman! They are both just like normal people!!! They are JUST LIKE US!!!

Well, that is downright insulting. You cannot have “royalty” and “fairy tales” coupled with “normalcy”. Either they are just like us or they are not. And no, actually, they are not like us.

This kind of “PR angle” comes straight from the US. It is exactly how American presidential candidates are presented. It is not a British thing to see those above (like, well above) as “just like them”. This country doesn’t have a history of holding “meritocratic values”. It has a history of accepting that those on the top are more worthy than the “peasants”, and no amount of “American Inspired PR” is going to change that.  

And honestly, people, all this “American Style Squealing” is just degrading. It reminds us who is in charge and who sets the “stories” through which people see reality. And no, it’s not “Britain”.

* The crowds are calmed and quiet. CALM AND QUIET!!! VERY CALM AND VERY QUIET!!! (unlike other crowds we have seen lately and which should go unmentioned)

Sad, sad attempt at cooling down the anxieties of the elites who got a taste of what “crowds” of “pleasants” can do when they are pissed off. Unlike the naughty protesters, these crowds were calm and quiet. Carry on.

It is important to notice here that the organizers of this event made sure that the only voices from the people heard today were those of the “CALM AND QUIET” tone. Dissidents have been “pre-emptively arrested”. FB accounts have been closed. Squats raided. For more on this, check Polly's take at Cath's blog.

Because suspending people’s basic human rights for a few hours is well worth it to have a CALM AND QUIET celebration.

As for the celebration? Nothing like the Royal Wedding between the Prince of Holland and an Argentinean peasant. Now, that was a beautiful ceremony. They even surprised the bride by playing a famous “tango” (that’s Argentinean music). She was so moved, she had to wipe tears of her eyes throughout the ceremony. And at one point the Queen of Holland blew a kiss to the couple. 

And this one? Silly dresses, silly hats, not a single flower in the abbey and not a word or a photo about all the members of the other royal families in Europe. 
The Royal Wedding wasn't only objectionable from a "socialist" perspective. It was mediocre according to the standards of "Royal Weddings" that have been set by royal families and journalists who take their jobs a bit more seriously. And put some flowers along the aisle, for Chrissake!

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