My Experience with Meditation: From Needing To Starting

I had been trying to meditate for quite some time. I’ve long suspected that I really needed it.

Let me see… it must have been some time after I graduated, and after I had started questioning “The Myth of Science”. Somewhere along the way, starting from political awareness and arriving to spiritual awareness, I must have come across the idea of meditation. It must have had something to do with the whole “clear your mind” thing.

So yes, I have known for quite some time that I needed it badly. After discussing with a friend how my attempts at meditating have resulted in utter failure, he reassured me that that was the surest sign that I needed it. But all of this is boring, let’s get to the part when I talk about meditation.

So, one day, I sat down on the bed and tried to clear my mind. It didn’t work. I kept falling from drowsiness. So I tried again, and the same thing happened. Drowsiness; desire to go to sleep. I looked up sleepiness during meditation, and I learned that it was normal, but no mention on how to prevent it.

Time went by and I accidentally stumbled unto Havi’s blog. Havi is a yoga teacher, and she uses a technique called “Shiva Nata”. After reading over and over how good this practise was for bringing “epiphanies”, I decided to give yoga a try. I found some videos.

One was mental. I tried it with my boyfriend, but neither of us could bend so much or stand so still. The other was more normal, more “beginner friendly”. And it had a section on meditation.

The presenter gave this bit of advice, which made all the difference: Sit straight. The spine must be straight, in order for you to channel something or other and root it on the ground. Anyway, he said not to slump and sit straight. So I did.

He also explained how you should breath during meditation: deeply and slowly. After a while, he said that you breathing should, naturally and without any action on your part, become quieter. And mine did, kinda.

It must have been in the middle of this guided meditation when I felt something. Nothing great, nothing life-changing. In fact, I had forgotten about it until just now. The presenter was asking us to imagine the chakras, and when he got to the one in the head, I felt something. Good.

I then went on to keep up with his yoga positions, and eventually gave it up in favour of doing just meditation. I suspect I should be doing both, really, and I'm sure I'll return to yoga when things calm down. But now, I'm in the middle of a process, and I have no idea where it's taking me.